Four Hundred Texts on Love (Third Century) 6

11.  Love, self-restraint, contemplation and prayer accord with God’s will, while gluttony, licentiousness and things that increase them pander to the flesh. That is why ‘they that are in the flesh cannot conform to God’s will’ (Rom. 8:8). But ‘they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh together with the passions and desires’ (Gal. 5:24)

Gluttony and licentiousness stand in opposition to love. In the former we consume to meet our own desires. And in the latter we actually treat people as objects to be used for our pleasure. If you are using someone to meet your needs, you are not loving them.